Moving Statues part 1

Another look back on times past. One thing I loved about going home to Dublin was the humour on the streets, the wit of the wags who take great pleasure in myth debunking, begrudgery, nay-saying & all forms of barracking at the pompous, the aloof & the pseudo intellectual.

One of the favourite pastimes of the Dub is the naming of the statues.

“The Crank on the bank”; refers to the Bog poet Patrick Kavanagh who was such a bitter egotistical ould wanker that when they erected the statue on the banks of the Grand Canal, he was so named instantly.

Thomas Davis is one of the great philosophers of Irish nationalism. Thomas, a protestant, espoused the truth that all one needs to be is to feel Irish, regardless of creed or heritage, to be Irish. President DeVelera unveiled this statue to gasps from the populace who regarded it as "Frankenstein" because of the un-natural symmetry of the arms/hands to the rest of the body.

“The Hags with the Bags”; I like this sculpture set on Bachelor’s Quay..a typical pose of two Dublin “oul wans’ having a chat.

“The Tart with the Cart”; Molly Malone’s statue just off Grafton Street. Only in Ireland do they rejoice in a prostitute or a “hoor” as they say back home. She was supposed to be a fishmonger but if she was on the game, I’d bet the smell may have had something to do with her lobster pot! Other names include the Dolly with the Trolley, the Trollop with the Scollops, the Dish with the Fish or the "Flirt in the Skirt".

Oscar Wilde; “the Cock on the Rock”,” the Quare in the Square”, The Queer with the Leer, The Fag on the Crag, referrals to…ah well, I won’t go into that one!

James Joyce; “the Prick with the Stick” once more begrudgery to the fore so what if you’re the twentieth century’s greatest writer, Jimmy Joyce was a “jumped up little get!”, “a dirthy oul perve”! as an “oul wan” once regaled me about him in Moore Street.

The “Anna Livia Plurabelle’, erected to some consternation amongst Dubs by Mick Smurfit in honour of his “Da” during Dublin’s millennium. It symbolized the spirit of Dublin, the river running through it and Mr. Joyce’s famous depiction of that river as “Ms.Livia”. Basically it constituted a woman lounging in a fountain, the river waters flowing over her elongated body…the names though soon abounded and each one a gem..
“The Floozie in the Jacuzzi”
“The Mot in the Pot”
“The Dame in the Drain’
“The Bike in the Dyke”
“The Bitch in the Ditch", "Bidet Mulligan"
“The Hoor in the Sewer”, to name but several.

One monument I love is “The Wolfe Tone Monument”.
Theobald Wolfe Tone is the Father of Irish Republicanism and one of our greatest heroes. His story like all Irish heroes is a tragic one and has been recounted elsewhere by others far more qualified than this writer. The Statue is surrounded by a phalanx of granite columns, each one 12’ in height…the Dubs call it “Tone Henge”.

The “Crََann an Ór” is a tree of gilded leaves located outside the Central Bank in Dublin. Other names though are “The balls up” & “Trinity’s other ball” in reference to Dublin University aka Trinity down the street.

I'll write of more statues presently but that's enough for yis all now!